Black Christmas (2019) – Movie Review: Chris Stuckmann reviews Black Christmas (2019), starring Imogen Poots, Aleyse Shannon, Lily Donoghue, Brittany O’Grady, Caleb Eberhardt, Simon Mead, Carl Elwes. Directed by Sophia Takal.

Black Christmas (2019) - Movie Review


Author by: Chris Stuckmann

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38 COMMENTS

  1. After all this suffering, I'd really enjoy a review on the original 1974 Black Christmas. It's a truly brilliant horror film… I wonder what Olivia Hussey would've thought of this remake…

  2. At the very end she smiles like florence Pugh in midsummer…that movie was a lot fuxking better

  3. Lol that's like if the excorsist ended with them removing the demon from the girl, and then immediately light the little girl on fire

  4. Saying this movie was made for women is an insult to women. Saying it's feminist' while it's shitty on men the entire time doesn't make sense. Feminism includes men. Moves like this, as well as Private Benjamin, where there isn't a single redeeming male character, don't deserve the title of being a feminist strong movie that they have been given.

  5. You know what would make those jump scare scarier? Not putting a loud ding telling the audience when to be scared. Any tension that could build seeing someone behind them as they close a door is immediately escalated and released in a span of a milisecond with that stupid noise.

  6. Yeah. I never know how to feel about things like with the boyfriend. I try to take it to hitting people. It's terrible to hit someone, especially to respond and escalate. But that is sometimes just directed at hitting women and not the other way. Like a woman can hit, put all the force into it and any physical response is wrong from a guy. That's shitty too. I don't accept bashing men as some form of… payback? Especially since it helps no one but that person… let off anger. I don't like depictions of women antagonizing men and though their retaliation is wrong, using it as a gotcha against men to prove they are bad. It just makes everyone jackasses to the audience unless the audience are extreme sexist.

    Story because this point made me literally remember a moment I completely forgot:

    As a kid I once shoulder slapped a boy for a bad joke or nasty gesture or something, but he turned around and fully punched me in the stomach. Like 8-10 y/o, but he used full force which us both at that age was horrible and I doubled over.

    A lot of kids told him he was uncool for hitting a girl, a teacher even told me you don't hit people, but no one addressed that it was like a "quit it" slap on the arm and he punch me. Which I can now say pretty confidently he was being hit by someone. I didn't even tell anyone because I was convinced I hit him and so he hit me and it was my fault.

    I was completely removed from putting hands on people after, even playfully until late middle school. I'm sometimes upset because I learned a lesson in an unjustified manner that other people haven't even in moments it could be argued as justified and don't even think there is a lesson to learn.

  7. THIS joke was a compilation of bits and pieces of other movies. The Sexy Santa scene( Mean Girls ). The black Villian coming up from left to right with the Christmas lights to kill the girl ( Excorcist 3 ) etc……I'm gonna leave it there. The was absolutely nothing original about it. Nothing.

  8. Women are the target audience, right? I'm a cis woman. I'm also a survivor. This is one of the worst movies I've ever seen.

    When your target audience ALSO hates this movie, there's something wrong.

  9. Bf and i watcha movie few months ago called timetrap I thought it was really good he did to, worthy to watch and review

  10. Exorcist III is one of my favorite movies. That scene you highlighted is terrifying without showing a drop of blood.

  11. coming from someone who is the target audience of this film, a feminist female college student, this movie was trash.

  12. You should have reviewed it, when it was in theaters, pile-on be damned. You would if the shoe was on the other foot, and they were men. That's equally.

  13. Feminist: let's make a movie about woman hating men and stuff…

    Men: okay but don't expect us to watch or likes it.

    Feminist: YOU MISOGYN*** FU**ING BASTAR**…

  14. Totally with you on this one, Chris. A massive disappointment. Sophia Takal made an excellent psychological thriller called "Always Shine" back in 2017 with Mackenzie Davis and Caitlin Fitzgerald, so I had high hopes for this. I couldn't believe it was the same director, and the editing was a complete atrocity. Imogen Poots is the only actor that doesn't come out of it looking like a completely incompetent embarrassment. I think the people who defend this film think they're SUPPOSED to defend it because of its unsubtle, continuously beaten-dead-horse messaging. That lack of subtlety ultimately made the whole thing seem less than hollow.

    At least we have the original.

  15. Bruhhh the 2006 black Xmas scared tf outta me ! I remember I had to walk home from the movies alone after and I had to walk pass woods ! One of my favorite horror movies

  16. Black Christmas Ranked Worst To Best
    1. Black Christmas 1974 (8/10)
    2. Black Xmas 2006 (5/10)
    3. Black Christmas 2019 (2/10)

  17. The SJW filth in this movie is sickening.
    Already crazy filthy feminists will become extremists/terrorists after watching this movie.
    They all must be arrested

  18. Brilliant review Chris! That exposition vomit dump scene was almost as bad as the expo vomit dump scenes from those hack frauds JJ Abrams & Chris Terrio's terrible Ep.9 RoS script.

    And yeah this was such an obvious Blumhouse "Into The Dark" junkpile twitter gen flick with colloquialisms that will date the bad movie in T-minus 5 mins.

  19. Wow i was waiting for this yes this movie sucked 2006 is way better idk wtf this movie is cause it isn't black Christmas 😂💀

  20. Chris…. I saw this movie and went in unbiased and literally just checked my watch constantly the message was lost in a crap story crap acting… etc. I would have rather watched cats over and over again this another time.

  21. You should keep away from that people. That's why I enjoy your reviews, you don't touch any of those topics and try to be as accurate as possible.

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